If your boyfriend wants to break up with you every time you fight, he is very sensitive to stress and reacts to it quickly. He gets overwhelmed easily, so instead of trying to find answers, he looks for ways to get out of things quickly.
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By looking for ways to end the relationship, he shows that he is angry and hurt, but also in charge of his life and not your tool. The guy wants you to see that you’re wrong and that you’re not as important to him as you might think.
This isn’t the best way for him to treat you because every fight makes him more likely to want to end the relationship, but he does it anyway. If he doesn’t understand what he’s doing to the relationship and doesn’t stop, he’s probably going to break up with you and make it a habit.
Why does Your Boyfriend Wants to Break Up after every fight?
When you fight, there are many reasons why your guy might think about ending the relationship. But the main reason is that he doesn’t have a healthy view of you and doesn’t know how to deal with his emotions. When you don’t do what he wants you to do, he loses his cool right away and thinks you’re out to get him.
This kind of bad thinking makes him want to defend himself by coming up with ideas that show he’s in charge of the relationship. He’s doing this to let you know that he doesn’t like the way you act and that you should be more friendly, understanding, open, agreeable, and less argumentative.
Because he doesn’t think you are that person, he wants to change you by making you scared and frightening you. This is a simple way to get you to do what he wants. He wants you to be afraid for your safety and become the person he wants you to be.
Instead of fighting back, you should try to understand that when he is angry, everything he says is true. If he calls you names, brings up problems from the past, and wants to break up with you, he is very serious and not just trying to hurt you and make you care.
Why does he want to end things all the time?
1. Fear
Why did he end our relationship again? Many women in the same situation are asking themselves this question. Well, fear could be one reason. They know how strongly they feel about their partners and worry that they don’t feel the same way.
This could make them nervous, which could lead to fights and a breakup. The irony is that they are afraid of losing someone so important to them that they run away whenever they see a chance.
2. Manipulation
Some men can be very sneaky! In fact, a lot of people have learned how to keep you right where they want you, at their mercy. This usually happens when they feel like what they did could be used against them, so they try to make you feel bad and then threaten to leave. You keep going back to him to ask for forgiveness because you really care about him and don’t want him to leave.
3. Not Willing To Take Advice
When he doesn’t think he did anything wrong, it can be hard for him to accept advice. When he feels like this, he will put up more walls and try to break up with you. Obviously, he doesn’t mean it. He just acted like a child in a heated situation.
4. He isn’t able to be in a relationship.
If you’re dating someone, you have to be mature and understand them. He can’t treat you the same way he treats his guy friends. He must know that you two will fight and have different ideas. But it takes time, smarts, and talking to get back on the same page.
A guy who isn’t emotionally mature will have a hard time not only keeping a relationship going, but also staying with you even when you’re upset. Try as you might, he’s likely to throw another fit if you tell him this.
5. Stress
When we are worried, we do things that we shouldn’t. Some guys worry that things aren’t going well, so they call it off as soon as they can. He doesn’t mean it, but he’s probably worried, angry, and not thinking clearly.
6. He’s Avoidant
Some people act in a certain way that makes them avoid love. It is shaped by what you did as a child. People who don’t like to talk to other people tend to be more interested in themselves. They don’t like arguments and will run away if they get too heated.
Read more: Why Does A Leo Man Ignores You
Your guy is probably an avoidant person if he keeps breaking up with you. Try to talk to him when both of you are happy. Patterns like these can change.
7. He thinks it will end the argument.
“He broke up with me just as I was about to apologize.” Guys can’t read your thoughts, and they also don’t like to think about how they feel. Running is easy, which is why it’s the first thing people do when they get into a fight. He doesn’t want to find out what’s going on. Instead, he’d rather just tell everyone the bad news and leave.
8. It’s how he shows how frustrated he is.
When he’s mad, does your boyfriend blow up and throw a fit? That’s probably how he shows how upset he is. He might break up with you because of these powerful thoughts. It’s a way for him to show how upset he is. He probably doesn’t know any other way to do that, so he probably thinks that breaking up is the only way to do it.
9. He is afraid.
He’s afraid you’ll leave him, so he tries to leave him first. Insecurity can cause problems in relationships. It can lead to fights, and sometimes the two people involved don’t even know it’s a problem of insecurity. Talk to your partner about what makes him leave and what brings him back. He might tell you about how he feels about himself.
10. He Doesn’t Want To Be Alone
If the relationship isn’t going well, he’ll come back because he doesn’t want to be alone. No matter how bad things get between them, he will always come back. When he comes back, you should ask him what he wants and why he stays if he’s so unhappy.
11. Problems that haven’t been dealt with or fixed
If problems aren’t solved, both sides could still be upset about what was said in the last fight. Yangki Christine, a dating expert, says that couples shouldn’t try to get back together before they talk about what made them fight in the first place. Before making up, it’s important to talk about what went wrong and figure out how to fix it.
12. Failing to recognize the cycle
Some people do this without realizing it; they don’t know that they keep breaking up and getting back together. It’s like a walk in the park for them. Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychologist, says that people tend to get these habits from their parents.
They are used to seeing a “on and off relationship,” and it affects the way they think more than they want to admit. You should talk to your partner about this so he knows it’s something he does a lot.
Read more: Leo Man Secrets Book Reviews
13. He wants it to go well.
Guys in happy relationships would always want to fight to keep it going. No matter how different you are, he will win your heart back if you talk about how good you are together.
He might feel like he’s had enough, but he keeps trying because he thinks you two will figure it out. Because it takes two people to make a union work, you and your partner need to talk about how to work things out. It’s the only way to stop this annoying loop of breaking up. Good luck.
What to do if your partner wants to end the relationship but you don’t
Don’t hold on to them. They’re holding you back. It is normal to feel restless, unhappy, or annoyed at different times in life. You may question your life path or goals, especially when there is a fork in the road or when things change. Some people even decide to end a long-term relationship because they feel vaguely unhappy.
If this happens to you, you may have noticed that your partner is restless or unsure, and you may even support their desire to grow or try something new. But if your partner wants to go your different ways, you might not agree with that choice.
If your partner isn’t sure yet, suggest that they go to therapy. Sometimes couples counseling is needed, but most of the time, individual therapy is a good place to start. Why? Because each of you probably needs to clean out your own closets before you can start working on the shared areas. If your partner doesn’t want to, but you do, then go for it. As the quality of your life gets better, so can the quality of your relationship. Even if your partner still goes, counseling will help you more than not getting it.
Here are some things you can do if your partner is sure they must leave. This is not about changing your partner. Instead, it’s about changing the one person you can change: yourself.
Remember that what you think about makes your life what it is.
If you stay stuck in your unhappiness and think that things will only get worse and that you are doomed, you are making your life miserable. Instead, you should believe in the power of thinking positively. You might not believe this, especially if you were taught by negative people or spend a lot of time with unhappy people. And if you have unresolved trauma, you will have trouble regulating your emotions. This means that you may feel unstable, laugh at the idea of being positive, or have trouble believing that there is any light at the end of the tunnel for you. You may also just not feel like you can count on good things happening. You might also feel like you’re not linked to yourself or other people, which makes it hard to know what you really want and hard to get help. Again, if you want to live your best life, you may need individual therapy, which could include brain-based treatment for trauma. You can do it!
Final thoughts
When your boyfriend breaks up with you every time you fight, it can be confusing. You might even think about not taking him back. Don’t forget that dialogue is the key, and every once in a while. Try looking at it from his side. Still, if it gets bad, don’t be afraid to leave right away. Good luck.
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Kate Zyana