Even though your brain is telling you to run, your heart is telling you to stay. No one but you may be able to understand why you still love this person. That’s okay. They don’t have to get it.
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Even though your partner cheated on you, it’s totally normal for you to still love them. Relationships are hard and messy, and so are people’s feelings. I want to give you some clarity and knowledge that will help you find your way through these murky waters. Read on to learn what to do if your guy (or partner) cheats on you but you still love him.
Our friend and relationship expert Amy North is teaching a magical set of words that will force any man to feel a level of desire for you beyond Love. The moment you said this magical set of words to a man, he will feel an emotional connection to you so powerful and his heart will be bound to you and only you. Click on the link to check it out for yourself.
When their partner cheats on them, many people forgive them right away. They say that they still love their boyfriend or girlfriend and that love can solve any problem. But they don’t know that love isn’t the only thing that makes them want to be with their partner.
What to Do If Your Boyfriend Cheats on You, But You Still Love Him?
Even though your partner cheated on you, it’s totally normal for you to still love them. Relationships are hard and messy, and so are people’s feelings. I want to give you some clarity and knowledge that will help you find your way through these murky waters. Read on to learn what to do if your guy (or partner) cheats on you but you still love him.
Make a plan for your own care.
You probably have been giving yourself a hard time. You might even ask yourself, “How did I not know?” or “Wasn’t I good enough?” I think it’s very important to be kind to yourself and tell yourself that you are good enough and deserving of love.
Start doing the things you enjoy, which will help you deal with what you’ve been through on a mental level. Sometimes what you need is a day at the dog park to just sit and cry or less work so you can stay home. I even think you should see a doctor on your own to help you get over cheating. The therapist can give you the emotional space you need to heal and tell you to take care of yourself during this hard time.
Think about the pros and cons of being with the person.
Now that you’ve been hurt, I want you to think about this situation with your eyes wide open. This means that you might not like some things about the relationship that have always been true. Take your time to think about the pros and cons of being in the relationship. This can help you figure out if you should keep spending your time and energy on this person.
Therapy can help you a lot with this process of looking at yourself. And if your partner is ready, we offer a special type of couples counseling called “Discernment Counseling.” This is meant to help you and your partner decide whether to keep things as they are, split up, or go to couples counseling to fix your relationship after infidelity.
A couple’s hopes for the relationship
You can have realistic hopes for this relationship. You’ve been hurt, and you want the other person to know that this friendship won’t be the same from now on. It’s fine to have requirements for the other person. For example, they might have to go to individual therapy before you’ll even think about letting them back into your life, or you might have to ask for more emotional or physical room away from your partner so you can work through your feelings. All of this makes sense.
Setting your goals for the relationship is a way to make yourself feel safe. Get clear on what you need from your partner to feel safe and what you expect from them in terms of loyalty, bonds with other people, and the time you spend together. You need to be clear about what you want from your partner so that they can try to meet your needs.
Boundaries
Reasonable adjustments are not “too much” to ask for.
Like not being able to talk to the person they had an affair with on social media or in person. Many people are afraid of being “that person,” the “jealous” or “controlling” one who wants to know where their partner is and who they are talking to. I often tell people that everything is fine. Let yourself be “that person” because you’re healing and need proof that things are getting better.
As your relationship heals from infidelity, you can always talk about your limits and standards again.
Get ready for unasked-for thoughts
I want you to remember that you can choose who to tell about your partner cheating on you. We might tell someone who has a strong opinion about the case what’s going on. This person might say something like, “If that happened to me, I would just leave.” They might break up with their partner. But they are not the ones who are going through what you are. People often don’t listen to what their hearts are telling them. Your partner means a lot to you more than anyone else. And just because someone else would do something different doesn’t mean you have to do the same thing. You can decide what is best for you.
Give yourself some time and room to think.
I’m sure it’s all you’ve been able to think about since you found out. That’s easy to understand.
But keep in mind that you don’t have to make a choice right away. It’s better not to, in fact. When someone cheats on you, it’s a shock to the system. It can help to give yourself time and room to take a breath.
Take a few days (or as long as you need) away from your partner. Tell him you don’t want to talk to him for a while so you can figure out what you really want.
If you live with him, you might ask him to move out so you can have some space. You might also want to spend a few days with family or friends. Do you desire the type of relentless devotion that you only see in romance novels and Hollywood movies? Now you can, by learning this system and guide from our friend and relationship expert Amy North! Do this, and the thought of leaving you for another woman will be completely unimaginable to your man.
Think about whether it’s really love or just dependence.
There is a big difference between wanting someone and feeling like you need them. So-called pure love is never a good reason to put up with bad behavior.
Even if love doesn’t have any rules, relationships still do and should have rules. When you feel like you can’t be happy without your partner, it may have less to do with love and more to do with codependence. This can be caused by having low self-esteem or a bad way of getting close to people. So it is important to talk about these things.
We don’t always know what real, healthy love looks like. So we try to find love in bad ways that end up hurting us. In this free movie, the world-famous shaman Rudá Iandê reveals all the unhealthy traps we tend to fall into when it comes to love.
And, more importantly, he tells you how to give yourself the power to make the relationships you really want and deserve.
Know that love doesn’t mean anything if there are no rules.
The thought that love has no limits is a myth, as I just mentioned. Love in the real world needs limits to stay alive. Sahar Andrade, a life coach, talks about why limits are so important. Whether you decide to give your partner another chance or move on without him, you should take some time to think about your relationship boundaries.
Getting your thoughts straight will help you treat yourself with the care you deserve.
Read more: How to Cope with Your Man Leaving for Another Woman?
Talk to a person you can trust.
As well as writing in a diary, it can be very helpful to talk to someone about how you feel. If nothing else, a sympathetic ear is always a good way to get our thoughts out in a healthy way so we don’t get stuck in them.
Talk to a friend or family member you can trust for help. Here’s a hint, though:
Tell them from the beginning what you want from them. If you just want someone to listen, be clear that you don’t want help. But if you value their view and want to hear something different, you should ask.
Remember, though, that the choice is yours in the end. From the outside, it’s very easy to give your (often correct) view. But it’s you who’s in the relationship.
Let your mind and heart weigh in.
Everyone has told us to follow our hearts.
But here’s the thing: our feelings can get the best of us, but they aren’t always the best way to decide what to do. Our heads have to step in to protect us sometimes.
That doesn’t mean that your head should always win over your heart when it comes to love, but it should be part of the conversation. You can still love someone, but decide to love yourself more. Even if we care about someone, we have to make choices for our own well-being sometimes.
Getting back together after cheating is possible, but only in the right situation. If you don’t, you’re just setting yourself up for more pain. Trying to accept and forget might seem like a quick way to stop feeling sad right now. But if you take that fast cut, you might end up right back where you started.
So let both your head and your heart play a part in how you make decisions.
What to do if your boyfriend cheated on you but still loves you?
Not all guys come back to their women because they still love them. Some people only come back to get rid of their stress and pain. Most of the time, these guys leave right away because they come back for themselves. They aren’t loyal because they don’t have what it takes.
So, if your boyfriend cheats on you but says he still loves you, the first thing you should do is figure out if he’s telling the truth.
Did he come back because he loves you and wants to grow with you, or because he couldn’t make things work with the person he cheated on you with?
If he says he wants to work on himself and the relationship, and if he gives you access to his social media, phone, and anything else you need to trust him, then you know he wants you for the right reasons. That would show that he’s really sorry for what he did and that he’ll do anything to prove that he wants to change and commit to you.
But if your boyfriend has no plans for after he cheated and seems angry, defensive, or uninspired, you shouldn’t take a chance on him. He’s not worth the trouble because there’s not much chance that he’ll change and never cheat again.
Read more: 17 Guaranteed Signs of Cheating and How to Treat Your Cheating Man?
You’ll do much better with someone new who likes you and wants to grow with you. So, if your boyfriend cheats on you and then feels bad about it, the first thing you should do is take back your power and control. Tell your cheating man what you want from him in the future and what you’ll do if he doesn’t meet your expectations.
He needs to know what will happen if he doesn’t meet your standards. This will show him that you respect and love yourself more than he thinks.
Remember that love and respect are earned, and that you need to show him you won’t put up with any more cheating or bad behavior. Do you want your man to become spellbound by the very sight of You! For more in-depth training and solution to get your man be devoted and committed to you and only you, we recommend Amy North’s Devotion system, check it out by clicking on the link.
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