What are the signs that a marriage isn’t working, and how can it be fixed?
Keeping the spark living in a marriage is one of the hardest things to do, especially after a certain amount of time.
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You think back to all the sweet times in your relationship when you passionately hugged and kissed each other, when you enjoyed every moment you spent together, when you made an effort, admired and valued each other, and when things were just right.
17 Unhappy Marriage Signs
1. Lack of closeness and physical touch
A lack of intimacy or any kind of sexual affection is often one of the first and biggest signs of a bad marriage.
This includes having sex, touching, kissing, and holding each other close. And many people in unhappy marriages don’t even realize it because a lack of intimacy and sexual affection becomes normal after a while.
So, the best way to figure out if this is happening to you is to compare your current situation to the beginning of your marriage, when your love was at its strongest.
When you look back, do you see a clear lack of care, love, and attention?
Read more: What Are Inner Child Wounds and How to Heal It
2. You no longer enjoy spending time together
If you no longer enjoy spending time together, that’s another clear sign that your marriage isn’t working. This one is related to the last one and is the major reason why there isn’t enough closeness and intimacy in marriage.
You know you’re in a loveless, unhappy marriage when you’re always alone, doing your own thing on social media or other sites, and the same goes for your partner. There are no more “together activities” because you don’t feel as happy when you’re with each other as you used to.
3. Not enough open and honest conversation
A strong and happy marriage is built on meaningful and open conversation, just like it is built on being close and spending quality time together.
Why? Because speaking means saying what you want, what you like, what you understand, and what you appreciate.
And when all of that is gone, all that’s left is silence, stonewalling, or saying a few words that don’t mean anything just to keep basic contact going.
4. You criticize each other all the time.
It’s normal for couples to fight every now and then. In fact, it’s better to get rid of the bad feelings than to keep keeping grudges and ignoring each other.
But things get bad when people fight and criticize each other all the time. It means that the couple is very far apart and that all of their energy is focused on the bad.
5. Your body is showing signs
Some people spend years in a bad marriage and have serious health problems, but they don’t know that their marriage is the main cause.
They go to a lot of websites to look for signs and diagnoses, but the main problem has been right in front of them the whole time.
Signs of an unhappy marriage can be both mental and physical, or they can be a mix of the two. When your marriage is bad, you feel alone, tired, weak, and angry.
6. You’re always ready to defend yourself
When you or your partner admit that there are problems in your marriage or elsewhere, do you or they tend to make excuses for it right away and not accept any blame or consequences?
If you answered yes, this is another big sign that your marriage might not be happy. Trusting each other, making an effort, and taking responsibility for each other’s acts are all parts of a happy marriage.
7. You don’t talk to each other.
Even though this sign is similar to the one above that says “You no longer enjoy spending time together,” there is a big difference.
If you don’t like spending time with your partner, it means that you’d rather be with your friends, family, or other people who aren’t your partner.
But avoiding each other means doing everything you can to keep from seeing your partner, let alone spending real time with them. Do you desire the type of relentless devotion that you only see in romance novels and Hollywood movies? Now you can, by learning this system and guide from our friend and relationship expert Amy North! Do this, and the thought of leaving you for another woman will be completely unimaginable to your man.
8. You imagine what your life would be like without your partner.
When unhappy in their relationships, many people go into “fantasy mode” and start thinking about how their life would be without their partner or how great it was before they got married.
Fantasy is a way to get away from real life and troubles in your marriage.
It happens when all the problems, bad things, and lack of closeness and trust in the marriage make you no longer want to live in the real world.
9. You don’t care about how each other feels.
One of the most common things that breaks up marriages is when one partner thinks they are better than the other.
Sometimes the trouble is that both people are trying to be in charge and ignoring how the other person feels. When you say, “It’s not a big deal and you’re just overreacting” to everything your partner does, you know this is happening in your marriage.
You’ll know this is happening in your marriage when you don’t give each other room to say what you really mean, be vulnerable, admit problems, or look for answers or comfort.
10. You’re sad and lonely.
Most people who are unhappy in their marriages tend to blame everything and everyone else for their situation.
They blame their loneliness and pain on their jobs and other things that have nothing to do with what’s really making them unhappy.
Read more: Top 21 Signs of A Sincere and Genuine Boyfriend
If you’re always feeling lonely and sad, it could be because you’re in an unhappy marriage. But most of the time, we’re focused on other things that bother us, which is why we often don’t figure out what’s really making us unhappy.
11. You don’t know much or anything about what’s happening in your partner’s life.
You don’t talk about your day, how you feel, your hobbies, or anything else that has to do with your schedule and way of life. And that’s why you don’t know much or anything about your partner’s real life, right?
You feel like you live on different planets and that it would take forever to get to each other and have a real talk.
12. You think your partner is being unfaithful to you.
So, the main reason you think your partner is cheating on you is that you don’t trust, connect with, or talk to them enough. But the truth is that most of the time, our suspicions are based on our gut feelings, and if I’ve learned anything, it’s that your gut never lies.
But we’ll focus on suspicions here instead of trying to find proof of cheating and other similar things.
13. One of you cheated.
This one is related to the last one, and it’s the thing that breaks trust in a marriage the most. Even if one of you had an affair and you were still able to work through it and stay together, it doesn’t mean that the act of cheating has disappeared.
If one of you had an affair, the effects will always be there, and it will take a long time to get back to where you were before.
14. There are no more date nights
When was the last time you and your partner set up a date night just to hang out and remember how much you care about each other? If you can’t remember, it’s likely that your marriage has gotten worse.
Many people think that dating is only for the beginning of a relationship and that once you get married, you stop dating because Netflix is ten times more fun.
15. No one is laughing any more
When you can’t remember the last time you laughed together, you know you’re in a bad marriage. Where there used to be laughing, there is now only darkness. When you don’t laugh together anymore, it means your marriage has turned into a sad place where you don’t want to be.
As has already been said, trust, mutual respect, and affection are the most important parts of a happy marriage. When all of that goes away, you’re left with emptiness and you can’t even find the strength to laugh if your life depended on it.
16. You’ve given up the fight
Fighting all the time is a huge red flag that something is very wrong in your marriage, but maybe not fighting at all is an even bigger red flag that you should pay special attention to. Why?
Because fights are a normal part of any relationship or marriage. The only thing that makes a difference is how you handle them.
17. You always hold a grudge.
If you always hold a grudge against your partner, it means you can’t accept that they’re just a flawed person who will make mistakes and apologize for them.
Keeping a grudge for a long time is a way to control the other person by making yourself look better.
HOW TO HELP YOUR RELATIONSHIP
If you just realized that your marriage is a mix of unhappiness, guilt, lack of trust, disrespect, and, in the end, pain, you don’t have to leave it right away and give up on the idea of changing it.
This depends, of course, on how much you and your partner want to save your marriage and fight for your love.
When you and your partner are both ready to make big changes and bring back the spark of your first love.
Tell each other what’s going on.
Communicate, communicate and communicate some more. Communication is the key to a healthy connection, and people wouldn’t be able to do their jobs without it.
If your way of talking to each other is very broken, try making small talk last longer and turning it into important sessions.
Get away from each other for a while.
If you still can’t talk to each other, no matter what you’ve tried, it might be time to take a break from each other for a while.
This will help you think more clearly about your marriage and figure out what’s really going on.
Work together to make decisions
When something bothers you and it’s clear that you don’t agree on some things, it’s important to learn how to make decisions together instead of pushing your own plan and deciding for both of you.
You need to learn how to talk about your worries in a healthy way and always be clear about why you’re worried.
More smiles, touches, and hugs.
Even if nothing is really funny, you should smile just to make your marriage feel good. When you have the chance, use the power of a soft touch or a hug.
All of these will bring back the love that has been dormant for a while, and the more you do them, the closer you’ll feel.
One Last Thing
Being in an unhappy marriage can be very bad for your mental and physical health. Because of this, it’s important to notice all of the above signs of an unhappy marriage early so you can stop any more damage from happening.
The first step is to realize you have a problem, accept it, and start working on it. Do you want your man to become spellbound by the very sight of You! For more in-depth training and solution to get your man be devoted and committed to you and only you, we recommend Amy North’s Devotion system, check it out by clicking on the link.
If you think your initial love is still there and just needs a little wake-up call, you should fight for what you have, but only if both of you are willing to work for your marriage and fight for it together.
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