If you want a guy to keep texting you, you should always text him in a way that makes your relationship better. Also, don’t be afraid to text him in a flirty way. Or to start a fun conversation with him by asking him questions with no right answer. But it’s also important not to always be the one to start the conversation. He should still be the one to text first and take the lead. So, you’ll be able to tell if he likes you back.

How to Text a Guy to Let Him Know You’re Interested

Over text, you’ll figure out what to say to him. How to start talking to him and how often you should text him. Find out if it’s okay to text him first or if you should text him again if he hasn’t answered. With simple examples of text messages you can send him to get his attention and make him interested. And a lot more, since there are more than 21 ways!

21 Ways to Keep a Guy Interested in Your Texts

How to text a man in a way that keeps his attention and shows he’s lucky to have you. A woman who is so sure of herself that she can’t be stopped is very interesting to good men.

Our friend and relationship expert Amy North is teaching a magical set of words that will force any man to feel a level of desire for you beyond Love. The moment you said this magical set of words to a man, he will feel an emotional connection to you so powerful and his heart will be bound to you and only you. Click on the link to check it out for yourself.

1. Let Him Begin (Most of The Time)

Read more: Top 21 Deep Conversation Topics for Couples!

One of the biggest complaints I hear from women is that they always feel like they have to start a text conversation. If this sounds like you, you need to slow down.

I’m sure you’re really excited about this new guy, and I don’t see anything wrong with going out with him first. Which there isn’t, of course. But in the beginning, you should not do this too much. Also, if you always send the first message. If you do that, you’re not even giving him a chance to start talking to you.

Not to mention that if you always send him the first message? It can lead to trouble. Because what you’re really doing is setting the tone and structure for your relationship. One where you do all the work yourself. And him? Not really.

2. Yes, you can text him first (But Do So Sparingly) 

A common question is whether or not it’s okay to text him first. Yes, that’s the answer. In the context of a real connection, it’s totally fine.

When you’re dating someone for the first time, you want your conversations to feel natural, but you should still let him come to you. You don’t want him to feel like he’s doing all the work, after all. Because a man who is interested in you needs to feel like he’s getting closer to you.

3. Keep his attention by sending him text messages that make the relationship better.

There are texts that make a relationship stronger and add value. Then there are texts that can take away all of its energy.

In the beginning of a relationship, this usually looks like a guy sending a message along the lines of “Hey, what’s up?” Then you say, “Nothing, I’m bored, what are you doing?”

If you’ve been dating for a while, whether through apps like Bumble or Tinder or more traditional sites like Match. You’ve probably gotten and sent a lot of these kinds of conversations. All of these things are boring, repetitive, and dull.

4. Send him a text message based on how interested he is in you.

Today, it seems like a lot of women get involved with men who don’t text much. These are the guys who like you, but not enough to make you their first choice.

Like the guy who at first seemed great. But then he goes away for a few weeks, only to return with a “Heyyy!! Or the guy who only texts you late at night. Or the person who sends you a lot of messages but never asks you out.

You don’t want to put too much money into these guys. I know that this is bad news. Because some of these guys really know how to get a girl interested. Giving you false hopes that this relationship will go somewhere in the long run.

5. Don’t text him again until he replies.

If you just texted him, wait until you hear back from him before you text him again. Even if he leaves the conversation in the middle.

I know it’s hard to do this. If you like a guy and don’t hear back from him right away, minutes can turn into hours. It can make you feel pretty bad. Make you feel anxious and worried that you’ve done something wrong. Or that he no longer likes you. But that’s the furthest thing from the truth.

In reality, you have no idea what’s going on with him. He is not ghosting you just because he doesn’t text you back right away. There could have been a lot of things going on that took his attention away from you.

6. Don’t think too much about your texts (His Or Yours)

Spending a long time overthinking every message you send and receive can kill a relationship in its early stages. Over analysis = paralysis.

It should be fun to text with your guy. Don’t let worry take over and take the fun out of it by focusing on sending the perfect message. Or you could get in trouble if you try to figure out what every little thing he says or does means for your future together.

Guys are much more straightforward and simple than you think. They often say things straight out. The best thing you can do, then, is to use the KISS method. Keep-It-Simple-Sweetie. Focus on being able to talk to each other well and getting to the next date!

7. Think of a unique way to start a text message.

No one wants to send or receive a boring text message. One way to avoid this is to send something that will start a conversation. Something more than just “Hi!” that you can say to your man.

Not only is it dull, but it’s also very lazy. Remember how texting was compared to a tennis match? To keep the conversation fun and interesting, there should be some back and forth.

8. Do ask him questions with no right answer

Asking open-ended questions is the best way to keep a conversation going. Open-ended questions can’t be answered with a simple “yes” or “no” or a single word.

They are questions that will get him talking and let him tell you more about his life. Which helps you get to know him better, and he does the same for you.

On the other hand, closed-ended questions don’t feel fresh or interesting. Which can quickly bring a text conversation to a sad place.

9. Don’t be a game player

Healthy relationships are built on being honest and talking to each other. Even though it’s important to know how texting works on its own. Simple rules of thumb and guidelines. There can also be a thin line between rules that show him you have standards and rules that are just you playing games.

I also know it’s hard to understand. Because you’ve probably heard a lot of different things, like if he texts you, you should wait 3 hours before answering. Or tell him that you’re doing something awesome with your friends instead of just staying home and watching Netflix all day.

Fear is the real reason why people believe these kinds of stories. With the hidden meaning being “If I don’t do X, I’ll lose him or he’ll lose interest in me.”

Which is not true at all. You can’t lose the right guy if you use your best judgment and talk to him in an honest way.

10. Send short, sweet texts.

Texts are not emails. When it comes down to it, texts are mostly about getting things done and joking around. Anything else, like telling a guy your whole life story. Or sending a long text with every detail of your day is just too much.

Think about it this way: in real life, would you walk up to a guy you barely knew and talk about your day for 10 minutes?

Read more: How to Get Over An Ex You Still Love and Move On Fast

How would you feel if a guy did something like that to you? This is pretty much the same as sending him a three-scroll text. Not that exciting.

Texts should be short if possible. There is, of course, such a thing as being too short. This isn’t about three-word texts. Then, how long should a text be? I think the “rule of thumb” is a good idea. If the text is longer than the top part of the first joint of your thumb, it’s too long.

Keeping things short is another good way to keep things moving in a conversation. As it gives people a chance to joke around. But if you have a lot to say, think about how you can make it easier to understand.

11. Pay attention to details and logistics.

Even though texting can be fun, the whole point of texting is to get to the date. This is especially important if you just met the guy you’re texting. When most of your texts should be about making plans and getting together in person.

This looks like sending texts about making plans or making sure they are clear. As well as changes to the plan at the last minute. All of these things will help the relationship move forward in the end.

You don’t want to text back and forth for hours. As it can lead to the scary “textationship.” Which has no effect outside of your phone.

12. Don’t be a grouch.

Everyone needs somewhere safe to let off steam. Sometimes you just want to tell someone you trust everything that happened that day. Even though it might feel good to do that at the time. In the long run, constant complaining can hurt any relationship very badly.

Get your man back and make him fall in love

It has also been shown that positive text messages make a relationship more satisfying as a whole. Everyone has bad days, that’s a given.

You don’t want to be fakely happy when everything is going wrong. But that doesn’t mean you should send your new man a long list of all the bad things that are happening to you.

13. Send him flirty texts, but be classy about it.

It takes skill to flirt over text. But there’s not much difference between trashy and classy. The best thing to do is find a balance between subtle and playful flirty messages. Then add a bit of mystery and suspense. I promise this isn’t as hard as it sounds.

All the while trying not to send any messages that could be seen as too sexual. Which could quickly turn the conversation into something awkward that you didn’t mean to happen. (Does anyone want unsolicited d*ck pics? Oh, no, thanks!).

Now, there’s nothing wrong with flirting with someone over the top through texting. But if you just started talking to a guy. It can send the wrong message (unless that’s the message you want to send, in which case, go ahead and sext).

14. Always have something important to say.

It can be exciting to talk to strangers and send and receive short texts all day. But when you first start texting a guy, you should make sure that some of your texts have a point.

Think about what you want to happen when deciding what messages to send. Like, do you want to make plans for the weekend with me? Do you want him to ask you out? Or do you just want to check in with him and see how his day is going? Etc.

By keeping this in mind, your conversation will feel new. Keeps on track and sounds as natural as possible.

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15. Consider the tone of the text

Texting is different from talking to someone face-to-face. Because the tone of voice and body language that we usually use to figure out what someone is trying to say are missing. And are hard to figure out from the text (3).

So, if you don’t take this into account. There is always a chance that the person reading your text will get it wrong. Or vice versa.

For example, you could send a sarcastic text message. Even though the joke might be funny in real life. Most of the time, sarcasm in a text will fall flat or come across as passive aggressive. Probably not what you were thinking.

16. Don’t send him texts late at night

If you answer a text from your new guy after 10 p.m., you might get into trouble. Even though it’s fun and exciting to hear from him. After a while, it can also feel like he doesn’t want to spend time with you in real life.

That he went out with his friends for the night. He is now coming to you because he is bored and lonely. Not only that, but late-night conversations often lead to, shall we say, less than gentlemanly behavior from some of us.

To avoid this, I tell my clients to make a rule that they can’t text after a certain time. Say, between 9 and 10 PM, they stop answering a new man’s texts.

By doing this, you make it clear to him that you have certain standards and expectations. Also, it shows that you are a good woman and not just someone’s booty call.

17. Text Him Emojis That Fit Just Right (Here and There)

Emojis are a great way to give your texts a little more context and tone. Emojis can also be helpful if they are used in a good way. Dr. Monica Riordan, an experimental psychologist, found in one study that messages with emojis made the person who got them feel better in general (4).

But there’s a very thin line. Emojis really are another way to talk to someone. So, when you text a guy, think about how he will understand what you say.

For example, a wink here and there can be playful and flirty if it’s done just right. But sending angry faces is going too far. Or, a lot of texts with only emojis can make you look like a child and be very annoying.

The top five flirting emojis are the winky face, the winky kiss face, the love heart eyes, the smirking face, and the rosy cheeks smile.

18. Don’t text him about important things.

When you have something to say that is hard to say in person or is more important, you may want to write it down. It can feel a lot easier and safer to text.

Even though texting is quick and easy, there are some things that are better said in person. Like the ones that are very serious. Or any other kind of argument. As well as anything that has to do with the question “Where is this relationship going?”

Because it is too easy to misunderstand and hurt feelings when there is no real context or tone. Even though you had good intentions, things quickly got out of hand and were no longer in your control.

So, if you really need to talk to him about something important to you? Then call. Or, even better, meet him in person.

19. If he says the conversation is over, then it should be over.

You can sometimes be having a great conversation over text. Then, all of a sudden, he seems to just disappear. You’re left to sit there by yourself and wonder where he went. And if he will ever text me back.

When your guy just seems to disappear, it can be hard to figure out what happened. Even more so when you really like him and are having a great time texting.

But it’s the same as when you text a friend. There are times when a conversation just ends on its own. There’s nothing wrong with it. But that doesn’t mean you should still keep texting him.

20. Know when it’s time for you to stop talking.

In the same way, you have to know when he’s done talking to you. It’s also important to know when to stop talking.

Because nothing is worse than trying to drag out a game that used to be fun but is now slow. Not only that, but it can quickly make a man lose interest in you.

Every conversation ends in a way that makes sense. When you feel like the conversation is getting less interesting, that’s when you should end it.

Knowing when to leave in a calm way shows confidence. And that you have a life of your own. Both of these are things that men find very attractive.

Also, if you always end the conversation first, you are in a position of power. You are in charge of the story; you don’t just sit around waiting for him to answer.

21. Don’t hide in front of your phone.

Texting is a great way to keep in touch with the person you like. But the truth is that it’s not the best way to make the kind of deep emotional connection that leads to a long-term commitment.

When you’re just getting to know someone, it’s important to find other ways to connect with them. Like talking on the phone and, best of all, actually going on dates.

To keep a man’s interest, you can text him.

It’s important to know how to text a guy you’re seeing. To keep him interested, you need to get along well and talk back and forth. Especially early on, so that your relationship doesn’t fizzle out before it gets a chance to really thrive.

But equally important, is to pay close attention to the fact that what you text him is only a small part of the dating process.

Rather than focusing only on just what to say to him over text. Make sure that you are also paying attention to what his texting habits towards you are. Do you want your man to become spellbound by the very sight of You! For more in-depth training and solution to get your man be devoted and committed to you and only you, we recommend Amy North’s Devotion system, check it out by clicking on the link.

Does he initiate conversations with you? Does he respond in a reasonable amount of time? Does he seem genuinely interested in getting to know you? Is he moving the relationship forward with phone calls and dates? Or does he only text and never make actual plans?

His texting habits will be very telling as to whether or not he’s actually serious about you. The courtship process is a dance, he needs to be putting in just as much effort as you are. And if he’s not, then it’s time to take a good look at if this is really the right guy for you.

Because at the end of the day, you’re looking for a man that will be your partner, and not just your texting buddy.

By Kate

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