Couples don’t want to think about splitting up, yet the sad truth is that it does happen frequently. In fact, as many as 50% of American marriages ultimately end in divorce, according to new research from the American Psychological Association. However, how can you tell if your relationship will last? Surefire predictors include things like your bedtime routine, how you argue, and how frequently you speak. Even the way you conduct your regular discussions can reveal how long your relationship will last. Discover some of the most typical causes of relationships breaking up by reading on.
Table of Contents
What factors lead to divorce?
The definition of marriage has been reframed as a result of cultural changes in attitude and conduct during the previous 75 years. As a result, the stigma that once surrounded divorce has likewise been accepted and virtually eliminated. The concept of marriage as a lifelong commitment has drastically changed and gradually developed to place an emphasis on personal satisfaction and fulfillment.
Our friend and relationship expert Amy North is teaching a magical set of words that will force any man to feel a level of desire for you beyond Love. The moment you said this magical set of words to a man, he will feel an emotional connection to you so powerful and his heart will be bound to you and only you. Click on the link to check it out for yourself.
The United States has evolved over time from a location where getting a divorce was unheard of and maintaining a happy marriage was prioritized to a place with one of the highest divorce rates in the world. Divorce is a constant reality in society, despite the rising popularity of marital education, marriage counseling, and family therapists.
A little over 45% of marriages in the US still end in divorce, despite the fact that the divorce rate among individuals from 16 to 65 is on the decline overall.
Top 21 Reasons for Divorce and Why Marriages Ultimately Fail
Read more: Top 19 Reasons Why Men Run Away from Love
1. You disengage from discussions.
Keith Sanford, PhD, a psychology professor at Baylor University, observed in his 2015 study that partners who acknowledged to withdrawing frequently during fights reported being less happy and less enthusiastic about the relationship as a whole.
The most detrimental behavior for relationships is withdrawal, according to Sanford. “Withdrawal is a defense mechanism people employ when they feel attacked, and there is a direct correlation between withdrawal and decreased relationship satisfaction overall.”
2. You and I are not in agreement.
There is no doubt that Virgil had never been in a committed relationship when he said that “love conquers all.” Yes, love can get past a lot of obstacles, but if there’s one thing it can’t, it’s not agreeing on the same things. The relationship will dissolve if you and your spouse can’t agree on essential choices like where to live, whether and whether to have children, and how much money to save and spend.
“67% of arguments in a relationship never get resolved and they don’t need to,” says Lesli Doares, a certified relationship coach in Cary, North Carolina. “However, the other 33%, if not resolved, can lead to the end of the partnership.” These supposedly “dealbreakers,” according to Doares, frequently include “the desire of one partner for the relationship to get more serious, personal beliefs and values, the kind of lifestyle each person wants to live, and wanting to have children.”
3. You have unreasonable expectations on your mate.
Your partner is probably doing their best, but like any human, they occasionally make mistakes and goof up. And while a supportive partner deals with these slip-ups in a mature manner, an unsupportive one will treat their partner as if they should be flawless all the time, which can irritate both parties.
“There is a temptation to attempt to alter your spouse when they don’t live up to something they didn’t even sign up for, without recognizing that your own behavior plays a significant influence,” says Doares. “Focusing on your partner makes it possible to justify why they are the issue.”
4. You struggle with loneliness.
Because they are afraid of being alone, many people will avoid conflict and make up that problems in their relationship don’t exist. This tactic, however, backfires because conflicts always arise at some point, usually when it’s too late to resolve them.
Another prevalent trend that prevents relationships from working, according to Doares, is the fear of being alone, which leads people to accept any relationship, no matter how unsatisfactory. Boundaries that are appropriate must be established and upheld.
5. You depend on your body language to express your emotions.
Couples often communicate honestly and openly about their feelings and emotions in the early stages of a relationship. But as time goes on, a lot of people ruin their relationships by believing that their partner should be able to read their body language and intuitively understand what is going through their heads.
According to relationship specialists Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola, authors of It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken, “Where a discussion once existed, now there is silence, an eye roll, or edgy energy radiating that becomes divisive if not ultimately crushing.” “Over time, we get too complacent in our relationship, too lazy, or maybe even apprehensive, and we cease interacting with each other deliberately.” Additionally, if something seems off in your marriage, try these 65 Expert-Recommended Ways to Be a Better Spouse After 40.
6. You contrast your union with those of others.
Your personal connection will appear worse the worse it is for everyone else, and vice versa. However, comparing yourself will just make you feel worse. In the end, you’re ruining what little of your relationship is still salvageable.
Comparison steals delight, according to Behrendt and Ruotola. “Instead of wishing you had someone else’s relationship, concentrate on your own. No relationship is as perfect as it appears on Instagram, and the grass is always greener where it has been watered.”
7. You are unaccommodating.
Occasionally letting your spouse pick the place you eat at is not the only example of compromise. Compromise, according to relationship expert and host of the Sirius XM radio program The Dr. Laura Program Laura Schlessinger, is “the conscious choice to accept each other for exactly who you are” in a committed, healthy partnership. “You have to let go of the need to always be correct and in control if you want your relationship to endure,”
Read more: Best 21 Ways to Find Someone Who Will Love You and Like You
8. You don’t communicate your feelings in the same way.
Have you ever been so furious that you started crying while your partner didn’t even blink? This could indicate that your relationship is in trouble. The meta-emotions of a pair, or how they feel about emotion, must align. Meta-emotional incompatibilities were 80% accurate at predicting divorce, according to John Gottman, PhD, a marriage researcher. Essentially, it’s about treating the dispute in a complementary manner to how your partner handles it.
9. You think your lover is less than you.
One of the four characteristics Gottman lists as a warning sign of imminent divorce is contempt for your partner. In his study, he asked couples how frequently they engaged in disrespectful, critical, defensive, and stonewalling behavior. The behaviors were found to be over 90% accurate at predicting divorce when he measured subjective marital satisfaction.
In particular, Gottman claims that believing your partner is less than you is the “kiss of death” for any relationship. And this makes sense, considering that a 2010 study indicated that couples were more likely to divorce before their 16th wedding anniversary if they shown disdain for one another during the first year of their marriage. Feel as though there is no turning back now? These are the 15 Indices That Suggest Couples Therapy Is Necessary.
10. You both vent your rage on one another.
Given that you interact with them more than anyone else, researchers found in a 2014 study published in the journal Current Directions in Psychological Science that the individuals you love the most are also the people you’re most likely to vent your anger on. However, they also discovered that “violence is damaging to individuals and to relationships,” which means that the more you injure the ones you love, the greater the chance that they would turn away from you.
11. You continue to cling to the past.
When you’re preoccupied with the past, it’s difficult to concentrate on the present. This is especially true in love relationships, where the success of the union depends on your total and undivided emotional and physical presence. Leave the past in the past and let go of the things that are holding you back if you want your current relationship to last.
12. You struggle with trust.
Building trust with someone is difficult (especially if you’ve been betrayed in the past), but you should have confidence in the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. If mistrust is the basis of your relationship, you run the risk of not having both emotional and physical closeness. Additionally, you almost certainly will see your partner lose patience and leave at some point.
Do you desire the type of relentless devotion that you only see in romance novels and Hollywood movies? Now you can, by learning this system and guide from our friend and relationship expert Amy North! Do this, and the thought of leaving you for another woman will be completely unimaginable to your man.
13. Your partner does not share your love of drinking.
You should make sure that your life spouse also likes a nightcap before bed if you enjoy them. According to a 2013 University of Buffalo study, over half of married couples with different drinking habits divorced before the 10-year point. However, the divorce rate was only about 30% among spouses who shared the same drinking patterns, whether they indulged, abstained, or just drank in moderation.
14. Secrets abound in your relationship.
Secrets are not enjoyable, especially in a committed partnership. Furthermore, lying about them is even worse, as is the case when “your partner conceals secrets from you then blames you when you call them out on their secrecy,” according to Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW, a relationship specialist and therapist in Massachusetts and Rhode Island.
They’ll say things like, “I had to lie because you couldn’t handle it if I was open and honest with you. explains Gaspard. It may be time to sit down and address the issue with your partner before things become worse if you find them lying to your face and then blaming you for their repulsive behavior.
15. You never admit fault.
Every partnership has disagreements, but healthy ones come to an end when both parties accept responsibility for what happened and apologize. But if your relationship is on the verge of disintegrating, you can discover that one of you refuses to take responsibility while the other paints themselves as the victim altogether.
When we experience strong emotions, “we are all taught a language of blame,” claims Carey Davidson, CEO of integrative healthcare provider Tournesol Wellness. “It’s so much simpler to become a victim than it is to think about our emotions as our body’s way of notifying us that our essential needs for growth aren’t being satisfied,” says the author. Additionally, subscribe to our daily newsletter for more recent information.
16. You lack empathy.
How each individual is feeling should be the center of a healthy and happy relationship. Davidson explains that during disagreement, “we alter our mentality toward identifying essential needs for ourselves and our partners.” In order to create a plan for addressing both of their wants, “[we try] empathizing with our own unfulfilled needs as well as our partner’s unmet needs.”
However, couples in shaky relationships frequently find themselves at odds with one another, showing little to no consideration for how the other person is feeling.
17. Your partnership is disrespectful.
When there is no reverence in the relationship, a couple will never understand one another. In addition, neither partner will ever feel at ease discussing their views or beliefs if the other is treated with evident disrespect for the other’s life decisions.
According to Alexis Dent, CEO of the wedding vow company XO Juliet, “the top reason that I notice on why a relationship does not work out is because one spouse does not respect the other.” “That is a recipe for disaster because they won’t ever agree on anything, and everything will fall apart.”
18. A major life event severely strained the marriage.
A major life crisis, such as a parent’s passing or an abrupt job loss, can completely upend a relationship. Additionally, these life-altering events sometimes lead to additional significant changes that many relationships find difficult to endure.
According to Regina DeMeo, a matrimonial lawyer in Bethesda, Maryland, “a person may want to relocate to a new place, work less, or they pick up bad habits, like drinking, drugs, [or] sex addiction, due to a loss in the family, the development of an illness, or simply a desire to change occupations.” If your partner disagrees with these changes, you will have irreconcilable conflicts since you will no longer have the same understanding of where you need to be or where you are going.
19. You have no faith in your spouse’s financial judgment.
It’s not always how each person spends money that creates issues in a marriage; instead, it’s how one partner perceives their partner is spending. Ashley LeBaron, a doctoral student at Brigham Young University (BYU), and her colleagues researched couples and their spending patterns in 2017, and they discovered that regardless of real spending patterns, husbands who perceived their wives as big spenders had the worst financial disputes. “Perceptions may be just as essential, if not more important, than reality when it comes to the impact of wealth on relationships,” LeBaron said in a statement.
20. You only consider yourself.
Giving and receiving are the cornerstones of relationships; if you take more than you give, the scales will tip, and your spouse will probably look for solace elsewhere. This phenomena is so well-known, in fact, that academics have given it a name: the Social Exchange Theory. The idea explains how “we feel agitated when there is no equity in a transaction or if others are rewarded more for the identical costs we incurred,” according to Mark V. Redmond of Iowa State University.
21. You don’t show appreciation.
Don’t forget to express your gratitude when your partner works all day long to prepare a home-cooked supper for you. If not, your partner might think that all of their efforts have been in vain or that you value your time more highly than theirs.
According to Poppy Spencer, MS, CPC, a licensed counselor and relationship specialist in Florida, “Taking a partner for granted undermines all relationships.” “Whether individuals realize it or not, it’s important to value your significant other. Lack of gratitude compromises emotional and occasionally physical health.” Even though you might feel as though your appreciation for them is obvious, telling them you appreciate them might be beneficial.
Conclusion
Fortunately, despite the difficulties that married couples have during their relationship, the likelihood of divorce decreases with longer marriages. Do you want your man to become spellbound by the very sight of You! For more in-depth training and solution to get your man be devoted and committed to you and only you, we recommend Amy North’s Devotion system, check it out by clicking on the link.
Additionally, tools like marriage counseling, relationship education, and therapists who specialize in family law help couples resolve disputes and create strong marriages before divorce becomes inevitable. Marriage partners will remain adaptable throughout their marriage to overcome obstacles they face if they are able to approach their partnership with an open mind in order to avoid the disappointment of irrational, unmet expectations.
Do wish for the return of a lost lover? Imagine the joy of holding your lover’s hand once again, feeling their warmth, and hearing their laughter. Picture the renewed passion, the deeper connection, and the stronger bond that this book can help you build. This book is for those who have tried all methods and nothing works. It will also help to keep that special someone around. Reconcile with an ex and find happiness together once again. Click here to get started, save your relationship!
Kate Zyana