When was the last time you had a conversation that made you think? Or have you grown closer to a friend or partner? It is not easy to know how to have a deep conversation. Still, if you want to keep a close relationship, you need to talk about important things, not just small talk.
Since relationships are one of the most important parts of our lives, Lemonade decided to look at a number of psychological studies to find out what kinds of talk make people feel closer.
From there, we made a list of 52 questions, one for each week of the year, that can help you become closer to your partner, roommate, or friend.
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Top 21 Deep Conversation Topics You Can Have With Your Husband!
Read more: Top 21 Ways to Get Your Boyfriend To Text You More!
First of all, try to have fun with it! From flashcard games to online guides that go viral, there are lots of ways to start a conversation that goes deep. Our friend and relationship expert Amy North is teaching a magical set of words that will force any man to feel a level of desire for you beyond Love. The moment you said this magical set of words to a man, he will feel an emotional connection to you so powerful and his heart will be bound to you and only you. Click on the link to check it out for yourself.
Boykin says, “When you start with questions that someone else comes up with, it feels like a game, and it’s less likely that we’ll start to figure out why our partner is asking a question.”
It’s also fine to start with something from the world of pop culture. “Books, movies, and TV shows you’ve seen together make it easy and low-stress to talk about values,” says Boykin. “Instead of making things too personal, you talk about a fictional character and the decisions you think they would make.” Talking about whether or not you agree with their choices can be a sneaky but still honest way to show what’s in your heart.
Here are a few conversation starters that can help you get to know your partner better or hear a different side of the same old story. What’s the best? If you answer these questions at different times in your lives, you might get different answers and learn new things about each other.
Here are some of our favorite ways to start a conversation between married people:
1. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to go through?
When people hear a question about their struggles, they think about it right away. You’ve started a conversation about a subject that makes everyone think about their childhood or teenage years.
What would you do today if you knew you were going to die tomorrow?
Talking about how we will die is always a deep topic. It really makes you think about what matters most in life. Have you always wanted to do some fun things? Would you spend the day with family and old friends?
3.Can a positive attitude improve any situation?
Does being positive help? The optimists and pessimists will have a lot to say about everyday life and whether or not having a positive outlook makes a difference. If you have more questions about this topic, you can start interesting conversations!
4. If you could go back in time, what good thing would you do that you had the chance to do but didn’t?
This will probably be a deep and interesting talk. When did they not get the chance to be the hero? Why did they fail? What would they do differently now? To have more interesting conversations, you need to talk about your own life. It’s about telling each other stories and asking the right questions to find out more.
5. How would your close friends and family describe you?
It may seem like a personal question, but it’s a great way to get to know someone because it shows how they see themselves. Honest, responsible, messy. Do they just think that’s how their friends and family see them, or do they really think that’s how it is?
6. What age do you feel inside?
Are they more mature than they look, or are they still kids at heart? Talking about how old you are and how your life is going can be a deep and philosophical conversation. It can be a very deep conversation. What’s the best age to feel good on the inside?
7. Is there ever a time when it makes sense to give up?
No one likes to give up, but is it sometimes best to give up? When, if so? Some people think that giving up means they no longer have an excuse. They’ve realized that they could be doing better, more useful, and more productive things instead. It’s a choice they’ve given a lot of thought to.
8. In your own words, how would you describe “freedom”?
Freedom is hard to explain, and everyone has their own ideas about what it really means. What one guy thinks of as freedom, another might think of as being held back or held down.
9. What makes people laugh?
It could be, among other things, a person, a thing to do, or a TV show. It’s a question that makes you think, and you really have to think about it. What does make everyone smile?
10.What is the most important thing you learned about life from your parents?
A chance to compare what each generation has learned over the years. Back then, there was no Twitter or other social media. Did that change what they taught their children?
11. What are you going to fight for until the day you die?
This gets right to the point: what do you care about so much that you’ll never give up on it? This is a great way to get to know someone and find out what they care about the most. By making a strong connection, you can turn casual friends into friends for life.
12. What have you gained from your current job besides money?
This is a great question to ask coworkers and other people you know to find out how they really feel about their jobs and life in general. Not every job is worth doing because of the money. This would be a good way to start a conversation about work. Talk about your jobs and values to get to know each other.
13. If you could live anywhere, where and why would you choose to live?
No place is perfect, but everyone has a place they’d rather live than anywhere else. Questions like this can tell you something about a person, whether they live somewhere warm and sunny or where it snows every morning and frosts the windows. This topic also gives us a chance to talk about how different places have different ways of life.
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14. Would you rather people hate you or forget about you?
We live in a time when there are a lot of famous people and social media is always there. Imagine going through some of the things they do and actually having people who don’t like you. How important is it to be remembered and live on forever? Sharing ideas and arguing with someone can help you get along well with them.
15. What small change could be made tomorrow to make the world a better place?
Would it be better if there wasn’t an internet? What would we do? Without the right to speak? This topic can lead to deep and sometimes controversial conversations. But there’s no better way to get close to someone than to have deep conversations with them.
16. What would you do if today was your last day in your country?
This makes you really think about what you love most about your country. It also makes it easier to remember the deep and important reasons why these activities are so much fun. When you’re trying to get to know someone better, it’s important to find out what they like.
17. Do You Believe In Karma? Why?
Some people really believe in the idea of karma, while others just think it’s funny or don’t care. No matter what, everyone has an opinion, and that opinion has a big impact on how people act. When you ask someone deep, personal questions, you will learn more about them.
Read more: Top 21 Deep Conversation Topics for Couples!
18. What would be three challenges you would set for yourself right now?
Guys want to know how to be better men, but many don’t know where to start. When you ask yourself questions like this, you really have to think about what you want to do. You might want to do the challenges together if you want to get closer.
19. Who do you want to be like more?
Who we look up to is a big part of who we become. Whether it’s a parent or someone who always says the right thing, the people we look up to show us what kind of people we want to be. When great conversation starters make you think about yourself, that’s a plus.
- What do you think is more important: getting to know the world or getting to know yourself?
A great question to start a conversation about the world around us and the world inside us. From which does your partner get more ideas?
21. If you could only do one thing in your life, what would you want to do?
Make her pick the one thing she needs to do to be happy with her life. It will tell you a lot about what she thinks is important. This is a great example of a question that will get girls talking about important things.
How to ask them?
Grab a Partner
Find your partner, friend, parent, brother, sister, travel buddy, or online stranger… really, ANYONE you’d like to get closer to. Make sure that they want to help you answer the 36 questions.
Find Some Room
Find a place that is quiet and won’t bother you for at least 45 minutes to an hour. The last thing you want is for your landlord to call and bother you.
Focus on the Process, Not the Result
There are three sets of questions, and each set is a little bit more personal than the one before it. You and your partner will take turns asking these questions and answering them.
Even if you already know the answer to a question, you shouldn’t skip it. Keep in mind that being open makes people closer. The point of these questions is to get people to reveal more and more about themselves over time. Give both people time to answer the questions, and really listen to what they say without judging.
Here are some more deep talk starters for couples.
Are you ready to have a deep talk with your partner? Here is a list of some of our favorite fun and thought-provoking questions for couples to ask each other, grouped by topic for your convenience.
Family and Growing Up
- Who in your family do you tell the truth to the most?
- What is the most unique thing you do as a family? What is your favorite thing you do with your family?
- How does your family show love and care for one another?
- Do you want to have kids? How come?
- What class or teacher made the biggest difference in your life as a kid?
- What’s the biggest way you’re different from who you were in high school?
- What one thing would you change about the way you were raised, and why?
- What book did you remember most from your childhood?
- What did you like to do when you were young that you no longer do?
- What food or drink makes you feel the most at home?
- What rules or habits did your family follow when you were growing up that you would also do when you have your own family? What rules or habits would you choose not to follow?
- Should kids help with chores around the house?
Intimacy
- What is the main way you show love?
- Tell me about the first time you felt sad.
- Do you believe in twin souls?
- When did you say “I love you” to someone who wasn’t a member of your family for the first time?
- How do you know if you’re good in bed?
- What is an everyday thing that you find really appealing?
- How do you most like to remember us?
- What is something you want to ask me but are afraid to?
- Name three things that we both have.
- Tell me the best way to touch someone to say “I love you.”
- The Past, Now, and Tomorrow
- What are the best and worst things that have happened to you?
- If you could say sorry to one person from your past, who would it be and why?
- What would you change about how you spend your time if you only had one year to live?
- Tell me about your ideal day.
- Tell me about someone you don’t talk to anymore but wish you still did.
- Tell me about the last nice thing you did for someone you didn’t know.
- What is something you do really well?
- What do you like to do when you’re by yourself?
- What is the best thing you’ve done in your life so far?
- What is the biggest mistake you think you’ve ever made?
- Tell me about a time when you were so far out of your comfort zone that you were scared.
- What’s the most dangerous thing you’ve ever done? Would you try it again?
- What would you want to know about your future if you could ask a psychic one question?
- What gives you the most trouble when you travel?
Health and the mind
- Do you like to exercise? If so, what’s your favorite way to work out?
- What makes you feel better when you’re sad?
- Do you want to look after your parents when they get old?
- What do you think about using drugs?
- When are you feeling the most powerful?
- What are your favorite ways to take care of yourself?
- What were the worst injuries or health scares you’ve ever had?
- What would you do if you found out you had a disease that would kill you? What would you do if you found out I have a disease that will kill me?
Values
- Which would you rather have: a lot of fame or a lot of money?
- When, if ever, is it okay to tell a lie?
- What do you appreciate the most?
- What makes you the most self-centered?
- What do you think are the three words that people most often use to describe you?
- What makes you most worried?
- What would you like more people to know about you?
- What do you wish you could do better?
- Name something that you should always spend money on.
- Would you rather see the whole world or live in your dream home?
- What keeps you going at work?
- When was the last time you worked hard on something that wasn’t for school or work?
- Tell me about the person you respect the most who isn’t famous.
- What causes or organizations would you support if you had a million dollars to give to charity?
- Which is more important: accepting someone or forgiving them?
- Do you believe in a higher power or something outside of the world we can see?
- Have you ever given money to a random online fundraiser or Kickstarter for someone you didn’t know? Tell me about the one that just happened.
Culture & Politics
- Which Disney or Pixar character was your favorite when you were a kid?
- How many times have you seen the same movie?
- Tell me about an article you read recently that made you think about something differently.
- Tell me about the thing that interests you the most but has the least to do with your everyday life.
- What would your tattoo look like if you got it tomorrow?
- What do you think would be your best reality show?
- Who should run for president in the next election, in your opinion?
- What do most of the people you know like that you don’t like?
- What would the quote say that you would frame and hang on the wall you look at the most?
- If a movie were made about your life, who would play you?
- What account on social media has taught you the most?
- How would your life be better if you stopped using social media? What would be worse about your life?
Remember that this is just a starting point. Feel free to change these questions to fit your relationship, or even better, use them to start asking even deeper questions. Consider making it a habit to ask each other a new question every day or at the end of every week. This will help you get to know each other better over time. How you use these questions in your relationship is up to you, but I can promise you this: As long as you stay interested in and open to your partner’s inner world, that mysterious spark will stay alive.
You can ask your partner as many deep questions as you want. They will often give you things to talk about, which can help you get closer. Try to spice it up by guessing each other’s answers! Use these questions to start a conversation with your partner. Give them a romantic gift or a journal so you can write down any surprising things you learn about them.
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You can also play games with your partner to learn more about them. When you play games like “Desert Island,” you might learn something new. For example, the three things someone can’t live without give you a good idea of who they really are.
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