I was really shocked when my partner informed me he wanted to distance himself from our relationship. I simply couldn’t believe that the man who had been tenderly massaging my back the previous evening had suddenly lost interest in me. Your spouse and you split up, but they won’t go away. It’s also possible that after they dumped you, they developed a strong interest in you and started contacting you nonstop.
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I remained up late searching for signals your ex still loves you on Google for months after the split, asking things like “does my ex still love me?” “does my ex want me back?” “signs your ex still loves you but is terrified,” and others while nursing my broken heart.
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When he first broke up with me and told me it was over, he was upset, angry, and experiencing a whole host of other feelings that took him some time to digest. However, I later learned for sure that he still loved me.
Most individuals say and do things during a breakup that they don’t mean, which is one of the most painful things that may occur. Exes frequently behave in unpredictable ways that are challenging to understand because of all the emotional emotions involved.
Since that separation, I’ve assisted hundreds of people in reconciling with their ex-partners and building stronger bonds than ever. When people contact me for private coaching to win back their ex, one of the first questions I ask them regarding the split or divorce is whether there are any indications that their former still cares for them.
Signs Your Ex is Thinking about You
It might be perplexing and even irritating to have an ex who constantly checks in on you. You want to move on from the breakup, but it’s difficult when your ex won’t leave you alone.
Is my ex-girlfriend testing me or my ex-boyfriend, you might be thinking. If so, knowing these explanations will make it easier for you to comprehend your ex’s actions:
- Your ex is attempting a reconciliation with you. The main reason he or she follows up on you is for this. But be careful not to rekindle your relationship too quickly. If it fails, your healing may be delayed and you may find yourself in a worse situation than before.
- Your ex merely wants to know what you are doing. Just because someone is intrigued doesn’t mean they really want to rekindle their relationship. They simply want to check in on you after spending so much time in their lives.
- Your ex wants to incite jealousy in you. An ex will occasionally check in on you to draw your attention. Your ex wants you to see how well they’re doing because they’re still hurt by the breakup and wants you to feel bad about yourself.
- Your former partner is checking to see if you’ve changed. If you caused the breakup, your ex may be checking in with you to see if your behavior has changed. They want to get back together, but they’re not sure you can be completely trusted.
- You are being played by your ex. Sadly, some folks are just plain rude. After the breakup, they could be bitter and seek to exact revenge on you. In order to hurt your feelings and prevent you from moving on, they are checking in on you.
17 Indices That Your Ex Is Still Interested In You After Testing You
How can you tell whether your ex still has feelings for you? Here are 17 cues they’re trying to attract your attention by testing you.
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1. They inquire about your well-being.
If you’re thinking, “Why is my ex inquiring how I’m doing,” then read on. Most likely, they’re attempting to encourage you to think back on the split. Your ex wants you to reflect on the connection so that you’ll understand how much you cherish and miss them.
They believe that if they can make you feel your feelings regarding the breakup and remember your happy times together, you’ll come to the conclusion that your relationship merits a second chance.
2. They disregard you,
The moment your relationship ends, you are suddenly cut off entirely. Perhaps you’re attempting to find closure or even just setting up a time to get your belongings back, but all you’re receiving in return is silence.
You start to wonder, “Is my ex ignoring me as a test?” They probably aren’t paying attention to you since they anticipate that it would agitate you. They want you back but won’t say it out loud. They will be aware that you are still interested if you cave and text them first.
3. They won’t return your belongings.
Delaying the return of items is a surefire indication that your ex is still interested in you. Your ex thinks they can avoid having to give back your belongings by making up justifications. The more they delay, the longer they have before you cut them off, after all.
Additionally, this conduct makes you contact them frequently, which is what your ex desires. Keeping your belongings offers them the leverage they require to stay in touch as they attempt to determine whether you are still interested.
4. They observe your social media activity.
Perhaps since the breakup, your ex hasn’t made an effort to get in touch, but you’ve noticed they’ve been lurking on your social media accounts, checking your stories, liking your older posts, or even engaging in follow-and-unfollow games with you.
Your ex may be attempting to gain your attention if they act in this way. Instead of getting in touch with you directly, they utilize deceptive social media tactics to check if you’re still interested in them.
5. They attempt to elicit a response from you.
Your ex is familiar with you, thus they are aware of your triggers. If they intentionally try to annoy you, don’t be shocked. Although it may come across as heartless, they are generally not attempting to harm you. They’re merely attempting to elicit a response.
If they cause you to feel angry or offended, that’s a sign that you still find them attractive. Your ex will notice that ship has sailed if you don’t appear upset.
6. They come where you are for various reasons.
Late at night, your ex knocks on your door and gives you some lame reason why they had to come over. Or perhaps they show up at your place of employment. Whatever the case, a former partner who is still interested in you would look for any excuse to visit you.
Your initial response to seeing them again is really important to them, and they’ll use it to gauge whether or not you might still be interested in them.
7. They arrive at random.
It’s a clear clue that your ex is trying you if they frequently send you brief texts out of the blue. They can appear and inquire about your well-being or just say “Hi.”
They are not attempting to engage you in conversation. Your ex is putting the initiative in your hands to see how you react—or even whether you reply—to them. They also do this to remain in your thoughts.
8. They try to incite jealousy in you.
One of the most prevalent and hurtful signs that your ex is putting you to the test is this. It’s a great way to tell if you still feel that way about them. After all, you’ll be devastated to learn that they have been seeing someone else if you still want to remain with them.
Your ex would probably overstate how wonderful their love life is or post enigmatic things on social media, giving you the impression that they’re seeing someone fresh. If you message them to inquire about their situation (or ask pals you have in common), that shows them you still care.
9. They converse informally.
Your ex always appears to have something to talk to you about, whether it’s the local weather or the newest restaurant to open. It may be that they want you back but are afraid to express it directly.
As a result, people continue to speak to you informally. Your ex will be able to determine if you’re still interested in them or not by how you interact with them and how invested you seem in the conversation.
10. They look to you for assistance.
Your ex consistently turns to you when they need a shoulder to cry on out of all the people they know. It can be perplexing at first, but it’s a good way for them to test whether you still care about them.
To cheer someone up, perhaps you might offer to bring them dinner or invite them over to watch their preferred movie. Being there for your ex all the time indicates that you still feel affection for them.
11. They consider “what-ifs,”
It’s certainly a ploy to gauge your interest if your ex shows an excessive amount of interest in your thoughts on the split and what went wrong. They will pose hypothetical questions to you such, “Do you think we would have broken up if we had…” or “How do you think things would have gone out if we had…” Your ex wants to start a conversation with you so they can see how you react and decide if you two are still compatible.
12. They question you.
Your ex might employ this strategy if they feel bold: asking you questions. They might outright inquire as to your feelings over the split and whether you still hold out hope that things might turn around.
Additionally, the queries might be more nuanced. For instance, if your ex inquires about your love life, they are indirectly attempting to determine whether you have moved on.
13. They attempt to mend their ways with you.
Your ex would probably try to patch things up with you if they want to see if you’re still interested in them. They may have caused the breakup and are sorry for hurting you in the hopes that you will forgive them.
Or perhaps you left things awkwardly and they come up to you to try to make things right. Your ex hopes that by removing the obstacles standing between you and a fulfilling relationship, you’ll be willing to give it another go.
Read more: 21 Signs You Have Found Your Twin Flame
14. When you’re around, they open up.
Honesty is a less typical strategy your ex could employ to determine your level of interest. They don’t hold back when they speak and are quick to the point. They make it apparent that they miss you and want you back.
When your ex reveals their cards in this manner, it can be unexpected. However, it’s frequently an indication that they have improved and your relationship merits another chance if they have.
15. They implement the adjustments you requested.
Perhaps you ended your relationship with your ex because they weren’t providing for your needs. But now that you’re no longer together, they’re suddenly making all the adjustments you previously pleaded with them to.
In an effort to get you back, your ex is making an effort to act different from you. But don’t be duped; this is frequently just an act. They will resume their previous behaviors as soon as you demonstrate that you are still committed to mending your relationship.
16. They make snap judgments.
Making false assumptions on purpose to see how you respond is another tactic your ex may use to put you to the test. They may make fun of the speed at which you moved on or the amazingness of your love life in order to hear what you have to say.
Your ex can simply dismiss the inquiries as lighthearted joking if you say that you have moved on. But if you respond in the way they expected, it signals to them that you’re open to rekindling a relationship.
17. They switch places.
Another obvious indication that your ex is testing you is if they are sending you conflicting messages. The next, they’re pleading for you to return while professing their love. Then the next, it’s as if they don’t even care about you.
They flirt with you erratically to gauge your response. Do you start to cling more or do you start to distance yourself? Your response will reveal a lot about your feelings for your ex. It’s a cruel game to see if your discomfort is caused by their perplexing behavior.
What to Do If Your Ex Is Trying to Get Your Attention, and You Spot These Signs
What should you do if you see indications that your ex is trying the waters? In actuality, there is no correct response to this query. It all relies on the circumstances surrounding your breakup and whether you did so amicably or not.
Here are some suggestions about how to approach the circumstance.
Put your own recovery first.
Finding yourself and developing self-love are things you can do best when you’re single. You shouldn’t give your ex your attention just because they are attempting to get it by reaching out to you. Be careful to guard your heart since breakups hurt. Prioritize your own well-being and healing.
Determine whether you wish to reply.
Because this is a person you formerly cared about, you could experience pressure to respond. But just because it’s your ex doesn’t mean you have to answer. Choose whether you wish to talk to them or whether you would be better off ignoring them.
Get your wish.
Consider the circumstance as a chance to obtain closure rather than being irritated by the fact that your ex keeps getting in touch. Discuss your relationship and the reasons why it ended. This chat can reassure you that you made the proper choice and help you develop so you don’t repeat them in subsequent relationships.
Think about ending all communication.
You shouldn’t feel awful about shutting off communication with your ex if you notice that they are trying the relationship out and you aren’t ready to start talking again. Your healing should come first; your ex isn’t deserving of your time. So, if blocking and moving on is what’s best for you, don’t be afraid to do it.
After the split, if your ex keeps showing up in your life, it’s a clear sign that they are trying you. They’re still curious about you and want to know if you share their interest.
Give your ex a chance if he begins to act as though he genuinely cares about you and doesn’t want to let you go and you share that sentiment. It’s easy to get back together if you want to do it in a happier, more devoted relationship:
Retell the tale of your romance. Show him that things will be different this time. Reframe his perception of you so that he may envision a completely different connection with you.
Rather than attempting to persuade him that what you had previously was worthwhile returning to, do this instead. Do you want your man to become spellbound by the very sight of You! For more in-depth training and solution to get your man be devoted and committed to you and only you, we recommend Amy North’s Devotion system, check it out by clicking on the link.
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Do wish for the return of a lost lover? Imagine the joy of holding your lover’s hand once again, feeling their warmth, and hearing their laughter. Picture the renewed passion, the deeper connection, and the stronger bond that this book can help you build. This program is for those who have tried all methods and nothing works. It will not only help You to keep that special someone around, you will also be able to reconcile with an ex and find happiness together once again. Click here to get started!