Relationships are an essential component of living a good life. Social relationships are important for both mental and physical health, according to research. People in healthy relationships have better health outcomes, are more likely to engage in healthy habits, and are less likely to die.
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This article examines some of the features of a healthy relationship as well as how to recognize warning signals of trouble. It also looks at some of the steps you may take to improve your relationship’s health.
Healthy Relationship Characteristic You Often Miss – What Are Your Relationship Goals?
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When answering the question “What Are You Looking For in a Relationship?” there are 21 things to think about.
Today, we’re concentrating on serious partnerships with the ultimate objective of marriage. After all, those seeking pleasant “situationships” aren’t looking for the same things as those hoping for marriage.
But, before we get into our list of “what to seek in a relationship,” keep in mind that none of these criteria are absolute must-haves.
These are ideas based on general tendencies, not hard and fast laws.
Life is complicated enough as it is, and occasionally soul mates don’t check all the boxes. As a result, treat it as a guide rather than a manifesto.
1. Physical Chemistry and Mutual Attraction
Read more: How to Get Over An Ex You Still Love
Relationships built purely on attraction are incapable of going the additional mile. They’re flimsy, and they almost always crumble when the lust fades. On the other hand, attraction and chemistry are required for a relationship to work on some level!
Some people form physical bonds with their mates, while others are enthralled by their partners’ intellect. Every successful relationship has its own unique set of characteristics, yet they all share a sense of mutual attraction with their partners.
2. Food Habits That Work
Let’s get right to the point: eating is important on multiple levels!
Sushi fans can have meaningful, long-term relationships with people who wouldn’t let raw fish near their taste receptors for a million dollars. Vegans, on the other hand, may find it challenging to deal with overzealous hunters who insist on all-meat diets.
People who desire to keep religious food restrictions in their homes may not get along with others who don’t.
3. They both have a similar sense of humour.
Laughter is what makes the world go round, and it’s often what holds a marriage together. Although you may not always find the same things amusing, your humor styles should be compatible.
To put it another way, if restroom jokes make you shiver and your spouse thinks they’re hilarious, those poop-centric jokes will get old fast.
4. Matching Expectations in Relationships
It will never, ever work if you’re seeking for a serious commitment and the person you’re seeing is looking for a casual, open relationship. No, you won’t be able to modify them. It’s a waste of time to try.
Forcing a relationship to succeed when people don’t have the same relationship goals or are at different stages in their lives is a pointless effort.
5. Shared Financial Objectives
You don’t have to make or earn the same amount of money as your partner, but it’s a benefit if you have comparable financial goals. Finding common ground when one party is more materialistic and the other wants to give away every money earned will be a difficult trip riddled with harsh conflicts.
Saving and spending habits that are similar also help for a smoother relationship. After all, financial disagreements are one of the top three reasons for divorce. Do you desire the type of relentless devotion that you only see in romance novels and Hollywood movies? Now you can, by learning this system and guide from our friend and relationship expert Amy North! Do this, and the thought of leaving you for another woman will be completely unimaginable to your man.
6. Political perspectives that are in sync
For better or worse, it’s difficult to form a lasting friendship with someone who firmly sits on the other side of the political line in today’s divisive period. It’s doable if neither of you is overly concerned. However, if you have strong convictions, bridging the gap may be impossible.
7. Acceptable vices number seven.
Assume you just drink once every few months and do not use any other substances. Would a relationship with someone who drinks every day and indulges in a variety of vices work?
8. Gender Roles and Complementary Attitudes
People who have opposing views on gender roles are frequently unable to make it through the early stages of a relationship.
Independent women don’t usually get along with males who believe a woman’s place is at home. Traditional women and men who are feminist sympathizers are in the same boat.
9. Equivalent Energy Level
Pairing with an energetic beaver who is always on the go can be taxing if your activity level is on the low end of the scale — and vice versa.
Couples who enjoy working out together stay together, as do those who have mastered the art of home-bodying.
10. Social Preferences That Are Similar
Relationships in which there is a lot of back and forth about the rate and type of socialization frequently end up on the scrap heap. It is not necessary for couples to accomplish everything together. In reality, spending time apart is beneficial.
11. Material Expectations That Are Shared
Do you fantasize about mansions, jewelry, and far-flung vacations? Would you be pleased with someone who spent the rest of their life in a tented campground?
Because we are constantly assaulted with contradicting messages, navigating materialism is challenging. On the one hand, we’re told not to judge books or people by their covers; on the other hand, our culture is obsessed with status, and consumerism is the lifeblood of our economy.
When seeking for a long-term spouse, look for someone who shares your financial goals. It reduces the number of entry points to Bickering Boulevard. Couples that share common aspirations are also more likely to stay together.
12. Religious Beliefs in Harmony
In social situations, we are advised to avoid discussing politics and religion. However, if you’re dating someone and attempting to figure out their long-term prospects, you’ll have to bring up the subject of religion if it doesn’t come up naturally.
13. Age Difference That Is Tolerable
Most people use the “rule of seven” to judge whether or not persons are age-matched properly.
Individuals should date partners who are no more than half their age plus seven, according to the formula. For example, adults over the age of 40 should avoid dating anyone under the age of 27.
However, research indicates that the calculation is incorrect. If you’re in your 20s, it’s a good idea to date someone who is five years your junior. It’s fine to start dating somebody up to ten years older — not younger — when you’re in your 30s.
It’s not a hard-and-fast rule, and plenty of marriages between May and December have survived the test of time. However, most people are happiest when they are with people their own age.
14. Useful Geography
Long-distance relationships are romanticized in movies, but they’re a pain to manage in real life.
Sure, video chats make things easier these days, but don’t overlook the necessity of physical connection – not just personally, but also on a daily basis.
15. Discipline Levels That Are Similar
Do you persist to self-challenges, or do you give up after a few hours? Are you willing to do things you don’t like every day because you’re working toward a goal?
If you responded yes to all of these questions without hesitation, you may find it difficult to commit to someone who isn’t as disciplined.
16. Generosity in the same spirit
You might find that successful couples have similar generous tendencies.
When people in financially intertwined connections can simply decide how much they’ll donate, volunteer, or otherwise display a generous spirit, it’s a bonding experience.
Feelings of bitterness and disrespect are common when they’re on opposite extremes of the spectrum.
17. Similar Tolerance to Risk
Another quality that rarely appears on “what to look for in a mate” lists is risk tolerance. Couples that are close in weight have a better chance of sticking together.
Non-gamblers, for example, have a hard time tolerating people who are continually looking for “a little action.” Furthermore, the devastating ramifications of a significant loss might irreversibly destroy a relationship.
18. Compatibility of Minds
When it comes to assessing potential lifetime partners, intelligence matters, for better or worse. Conversations will lag, struggle, and wilt out on both ends if one person enjoys analysing complex 19th-century literature while the other person honestly believes that Wheel of Fortune is high-brow television.
Having said that, don’t overestimate your mental capabilities. Because the studies have come out, and the truth is that most of us think we’re smarter, kinder, and better than we really are.
So don’t disregard someone just because they didn’t attend the correct school, and don’t make assumptions about their intelligence based on superficial characteristics. Above all, don’t dismiss someone as “stupid” simply because they disagree with you!
19. Acceptable Historical Background
The past does not have to dictate one’s future. People who make major blunders frequently find a way to recover. However, if something in a person’s past conflicts with your present, it may be difficult to overcome.
So, while you’re thinking about qualities to look for in a mate, be honest with yourself. Is there something you won’t be able to go past in your possible mate?
20. Aligning Family Objectives
Would you marry someone who wanted children but didn’t want you to have any? What about the other way around? People often believe they can persuade a possible partner to change their mind on this issue, but it rarely works out. When an unexpected child arrives, even if the hesitant party is first thrilled, circumstances typically change, and bitterness can tear the relationship apart.
21. Mutual Magic
Always be on the watch for the “magic” that helps two people fall in love, even if it’s unexplained. Without it, a partnership might start to feel like a contract without desire. On the other hand, you could be walking on cloud nine with it for the rest of your life.
Of course, there are exceptions to any rule. These 21 elements, on the other hand, will assist you in better molding your ideal mate concept.
What Characterizes a Healthy Relationship?
Well, that is debatable.
Because everyone’s requirements are varied, healthy partnerships don’t look the same for everyone. Communication, sex, affection, space, common hobbies or values, and other aspects of your life may change over time.
As a result, a relationship that works in your twenties may not be the same as the one you want in your thirties.
Relationships that don’t conform to traditional ideas of love can nonetheless be beneficial. People who practice polyamory or ethical nonmonogamy, for example, may have a different definition of a good relationship than those who practice monogamy.
l Communication that is open
In a good relationship, partners talk about what’s going on in their life, including their accomplishments, failures, and everything in between.
You should feel at ease discussing any issues that arise, ranging from minor irritations like work or friend stress to more significant concerns like mental health symptoms or financial concerns.
Even if they disagree, they listen without passing judgment and then convey their point of view.
Honesty and integrity are essential components of trust. You don’t keep each other’s secrets. You don’t have to worry about them pursuing other people when you’re apart.
However, trust extends beyond believing someone would not deceive you or lie to you. It also implies that you feel safe and secure around them, knowing that they will not harm you physically or mentally. You know they have your best interests at heart, but you also know they respect you enough to let you make your own decisions.
l A sense of self as a distinct individual
Interdependent is the greatest way to characterize healthy partnerships. Interdependence means that you rely on each other for mutual assistance while maintaining your individuality.
To put it another way, your partnership is well-balanced. You know they love and approve of you, but your self-esteem is not dependent on them. You don’t rely on each other to meet all of your needs, despite the fact that you’re always there for each other.
Outside of the relationship, you have acquaintances and contacts, and you spend time following your own interests and hobbies.
Curiosity is a vital feature of a healthy, long-term relationship.
This indicates that you’re curious about their views, aspirations, and day-to-day activities. You want to see them blossom into their full potential. You’re not preoccupied with who they were or who you think they should be.
l Separation time
Most people in good relationships prioritize spending time with each other, while the quantity of time spent together varies depending on personal needs, job and other commitments, living arrangements, and other factors.
However, you understand the importance of personal space and time alone. Perhaps you’ll spend your time alone relaxing, pursuing a pastime, or visiting friends or relatives.
Whatever you do, don’t feel obligated to spend every moment together or assume that spending time apart would harm your relationship.
l Lightheartedness or playfulness
When the mood strikes, it’s critical to schedule time for pleasure and spontaneity. It’s a positive sign if you can joke and laugh together.
One or both of you may be affected by life’s problems or distress at times. This can momentarily alter the tone of your relationship, making it difficult to relate to each other in the manner you used to.
However, even in difficult times, being able to share lighter moments that help relieve tension enhances your relationship.
l Intimacy of the body
Intimacy is frequently associated with sex, although not always. Sex is not something that everyone enjoys or desires. If you’re both on the same page about getting your needs fulfilled, your relationship can still be good without it.
If you don’t want to have sex, physical closeness could consist of kissing, embracing, cuddling, and sleeping together. Physical connection and bonding are crucial in any form of intimacy you share.
A team can be formed from a solid friendship. Even when you don’t agree on something or have aims that aren’t identical, you work together and encourage one another.
l Dispute resolution
Even in a healthy relationship, you and your partner will have arguments and feel disappointed or angry at times. That is very typical. It doesn’t necessarily imply that your relationship is unhealthy.
It’s how you deal with disagreement that counts. You’re on the right route if you can discuss your differences gently, honestly, and respectfully.
Partners who approach dispute without condemnation or contempt are more likely to reach an agreement or solution.
Relationships That Aren’t Healthy
- Disrespect and control are two features that characterize unhealthy relationships. It’s critical for young people to be able to spot the warning signs of toxic relationships before they get out of hand. The following are some characteristics of dysfunctional relationships:
- Control. One of the dating partners makes all of the decisions and instructs the other what to do, wear, and spend time with. He or she is irrationally envious of the other spouse and/or seeks to isolate him or her from his or her friends and family.
- Hostility. One dating partner starts a dispute with the other dating partner or antagonizes them. As a result, one relationship partner’s conduct may change in order to avoid offending the other.
- Dishonesty. One relationship partner deceives the other or withholds information. One of the dating partners takes advantage of the other.
- Disrespect. One dating partner ridicules the other’s beliefs and hobbies, or destroys anything that belongs to the other.
- Dependence. One dating partner believes that the other “cannot live without.” If the relationship ends, he or she may threaten to do something drastic.
- Intimidation. One relationship partner tries to exert control over parts of the other’s life by instilling fear or timidity in the other. One dating partner may try to isolate his or her partner from friends and family, as well as threaten violence or a breakup.
- The use of physical force. One of the partners uses force to acquire what he or she wants (such as hitting, slapping, grabbing, or shoving).
- Sexual assault is a serious issue. One dating partner pushes or coerces the other into sexual activity against their will or without their consent.
Before they start dating, it’s critical to teach them about the importance of respect and the hallmarks of healthy and bad relationships. Youth may lack the abilities necessary to form and sustain good relationships, as well as the knowledge of how to break up in a healthy manner when necessary. Maintaining open channels of communication may assist people in forming good connections and recognizing the indicators of toxic relationships, so preventing violence from occurring.
How to Create a More Healthy Relationship
Toxic actions are frequently a clue that a bad relationship needs to terminate. Other issues can be addressed in a variety of ways, resulting in a stronger connection.
- Display Your Appreciation
Couples who express gratitude for each other feel closer to one another and are happier in their relationships. According to a study published in the journal Personal Relationships, expressing thankfulness for a mate might be a powerful method to increase romantic relationship satisfaction.
- Ensure that things remain interesting.
Keeping up with the daily grind of job and children might lead to couples falling into old habits. As a relationship progresses, boredom can lead to increasing unhappiness. For example, couples who reported feeling bored in their seventh year of marriage were more likely to experience marital dissatisfaction nine years later, according to research.
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